I think I am the most criticized President in the
whole world, but I want to tell this audience that before I leave, I will be
the most praised President,” said President Goodluck Jonathan at the opening of
the 52nd Annual General Meeting of the Nigerian Bar Association at the
International Conference Centre in Abuja.
Hey guys, I guess you know that pointing fingers is
not my style, hahaha, just as I know that it will be difficult to find a single
Nigerian who hasn’t pointed fingers at President Goodluck Jonathan since he
became President. But really, can so many fingers be pointed at a single
individual all at the same time? Some people have gone to the extent of saying
that since Jonathan took office, everything has gone to hell in a handbasket.
Others have held him responsible for everything that has gone wrong in the
country, from the tear in their pants to the economy. Trust me: Nigerians are
beginning to agree that when it comes to assigning blame, look to Jonathan
first. There are some hardliners who don’t care if Jonathan wasn’t President
during the civil war. He must have been thinking about it, and that’s good
enough reason for them. They even say that if he hadn’t been sticking his nose
into government, the civil war wouldn’t have happened. Funny, Nigerians have
found the perfect target for dealing with their bad days. Late to work? Blame
Jonathan! Did the soup in the fridge melt when you weren’t looking? It’s
Goodluck Jonathan. Can’t find your smelling socks? Jonathan! Your baby pees on
the chair, again? Jonathan. The possibilities are endless! Hey, are we not just
being unfair to Goodluck Jonathan? We blame him for all and everything. Even
for things that are not his fault. Let me ask you something sir or madam, if
Jonathan is to blame for everything wrong in Nigeria today, what becomes of the
previous presidents under whose regimes most of these problems started?
On Tuesday evening on my way back from NTA, I
stopped at the Bar
Beach to buy suya. I was
a little bit early because I met the aboki lighting his charcoal. As I waited,
I saw two weird looking rastas looking like archangels Michael and Gabriel in
their white Cele garments walk down to just about five yards from the
water, raised their holy robes in unison like atilogwu dancers trying to master
a new dance routine and bent down and began to defecate. Couples of minutes
later, I heard them walking back complaining of how dirty and smelly the beach
had become from what it used to be. As they passed by me, the taller one said “omo
naija, presido no dey try at all. See as this place don yamayama finish, dem no
dey see as those oyinbo beach be for inside film wey we dey watch?” At that
point, I couldn’t hold back my anger. I just had to say something: “Shebi na
una just shit finish for that place so? And una get mouth dey blame the
president. Una see him shit for there?”
We are having a distant relationship with the truth
in this country. We have developed that rare ability to be hypocritical and not
so much as give a damn whether we are equally guilty of the things we are
blaming on others. In truth, Goodluck Jonathan should roll up his sleeves, spit
on his palms and get to work on a lot of things. We keep saying that corruption
escalated under his regime but why do we keep failing to associate it with the
fact that these corrupt individuals are Nigerians? I listened to some custom
officers saying that If it wasn’t for Goodluck Jonathan’s backward policies,
everything at the Nigerian borders would be perfect. Yes, let us keep dumping
everything on Goodluck Jonathan. Even our own responsibilities as citizens.
He’s the reason our custom and police officers are more interested in
collecting bribes than fighting crime and checking for contraband goods coming
into the country. It is also Jonathan’s fault that the security operatives at
the Lagos
airport have all turned beggars. Should the president also take the rap for the
Director-General of the Standards Organisation of Nigeria not being able to see
that the nation is littered with fake products? Maybe Goodluck Jonathan should
be with him daily and point him towards fake products and manufacturers. The
fight to save this country does not begin or stop at Janathan’s table. It must
be an all Nigerian battle. Let the pastors stop praying for corrupt politicians
and tell them to their faces to stop stealing public funds. If all drivers have
their complete vehicle papers and obey traffic laws, there will be no need to
give out money to the police and we will be on our way to a better society.
Ask yourself where your governor got the billions
he spends on frivolities? People in the rural areas of Akwa Ibom state are
living in thatched houses and we are building another stadium? Have you tried
asking what the Abia State Government did with the state’s allocation for eight
years? Do you think President Jonathan will be allowed a minute of sleep if he
failed to remit monies due to the states? So why then do we pour all the blames
on him? Your governor owns empty estates in Dubai
and factories in South
Africa when people of their states are
homeless and jobless, is that Jonathan’s fault too? Where did we get the
preposterous notion that President Jonathan took office and people started
having trouble finding jobs? Did we have a zero unemployment rate in the
country before President Jonathan? Millions of Nigerians are working their
asses out and dying as contract staffs and casual workers, where is the NLC? Is
it not aware of the appalling working conditions Nigerian workers are subjected
to by multinationals? Of course, it is all Jonathan’s fault. Last time I checked,
Jonathan was a president or a magician. Should he be doing the job of the NLC
too, supervising every sector of the country at the same time? Let us be
truthful to ourselves, since when have we had good roads in this country? Were
there roads in the country that Jonathan destroyed? Have we had electricity in
the country before President Jonathan? We say Boko Haram started as a result of
poverty and lack of education in the North, were there schools in the North
that Jonathan destroyed? Trust me, the architects of Boko Haram know what
they’re talking about when they say it is all Jonathan’s fault.
For everyone out there, below are a list of things
Goodluck Jonathan is yet to be blamed for, so go ahead and make your pick and
let the blame game continue: Cancer, AIDS, racism, air pollution, sin, child
porn, human meat at Jankara market, home video, obesity, Drake sleeping with
everyone’s chic, Kim Kardashian’s nude picture, tribalism and every other kind
of ism, Arsenal’s trophyless seasons, Facebook, Twitter and Wizkid’s last album.
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