Thursday, February 26, 2015

My Experience Series: My Online Dating Experience With A Prisoner

Hi guys,this week I've a very interesting story with great lessons for
young people and even adults. It borders on online dating;the thrills
and dangers in it. Enjoy the story as I serve it to you hot as

I would like my ID hidden because this experience am about to share
does not have a happy ending,at least not yet,and some bitter
experiences are involved. As a young teenager that was just growing up
back in the day,using a phone was a dream come true for me. This was
because my parents wouldn't let me have my way and do what I
wanted,for example,I was not allowed to have  a boyfriend nor given
the privilege of attending parties like my peers. But with my
phone,life was beautiful as I had opportunities to make convenient
friends on my phone and it felt comfortable. I met a lot of people who
later became my friends through such platforms as fun chat and radio
shows,which wasn't a bad thing.

In my quest to get a boyfriend and be like my peers, I met Frank on
one of those platforms . He was a cool guy who had my time and gave me
maximum attention; which was all I wanted back then. He schooled in
the southern part of Nigeria. I'd just left secondary school as of
then,so I was free and had a lot of free time to spare.  We'd text all
day and call each other at night courtesy of extracool; I was really
happy.I used to wonder how he had so much time for us to talk
considering the fact that he was a university student but I overlooked
this cos I thought that he was just being loyal.

One day he told me he had something to tell me.I was like...ok say
it,I'm listening but he said he would tell me during our usual night
call. I had to wait till night to hear what he had to tell me. I was
thinking he was going to say he wanted to come visit me where I was
staying since we were yet to see,so I was really hopeful.
Night came and he called as usual, and we got talking, I asked him
about what he wanted to tell me.
Hmmmmmmmm...He couldn't say it. He tried and it wasn't easy for him. I
got angry and told him to talk. He finally did. Omg!!!!! My sweetheart
told me he was in jail in one of the nigerian prisons. I told him I'm
not in the mood for jokes,he said he was serious,but I didn't believe
till he proved it with
pictures and some stuffs that had happened in the past,and I was able
to link it and it all made sense. I cried the whole night and I was
scared too cos I've never
talked to a prisoner neither did I know how it felt,so I told him we'd
talk the next day because I'd spent the whole time crying,my head was

The next day we talked and I asked him a million questions that were
running through my mind. Well,he told me that in his 1st yr in the
university,he got himself into a wrong company of people,a fight broke
out one day in which someone died in the process and he is the only
one facing the judgment for murder. He said the other guys had
powerful links and were able to get away without being charged to
prison. He was just unlucky to be at the wrong place at the wrong
time.I asked him how many years he had left before he'd be released,he
sadly replied that it was a life sentence. We made plans to see but I
couldn't just get myself to make the effort till I left Nigeria.
You'll be wondering how he came about a phone in prison,well it's
Nigeria and people know how to get these things in,though it's illegal
to have one.I started talking with him close to six years now, though it's 

been ten years he has been in prison. All emotions I had for him before the
revelation turned to pity and a hunger for his freedom. He is well
known to my family and church members now, and we continuously pray to
God for mercy so he can be released cos he was just unlucky to have
gotten into trouble due to bad company. He has become a pastor working to 

win souls for God in prison. I do keep in touch with him through calls and I 
also encourage him not to lose hope.

This is a lesson to those who keep online friends,please treat them
well cos you don't know what they are facing where ever they may be
and also be careful of the kind of online relationships you keep because
some are with deceitful and fake people

Monday, February 23, 2015

50 Lessons On Life And Women Generally

I've gained a number of insights through some lessons I've learned
from first hand experiences in the last decade or so of my adult life.
I've decided to put them down to remind me about what roads to take or
not to take and the likely consequences that can arise there from.

1.Do what you have to do when you have to do it so you wouldn't have
to give explanations later, about why you didn't achieve what you
should have achieved when you should have

2.Always ask questions when you're in doubt,it doesn't make you less
than who you are,so even if your sworn enemy has the answers,find a
way to get it off him, even if you've to pay to get that info cos
knowledge is power.

3.When results are slow in coming,insults are inevitable,so you need
to change tactics when the current one isn't working or achieving the
desired or intended result

4.Procrastination and indecision are two things to avoid as much as
possible,don't be afraid to make a mistake cos waiting for the best
conditions wouldn't take you very far in life

5.Never trust a friend until you've tested him in adversity, even then
do know that he could back still stab you if given the chance

6.Never have permanent friends or enemies,rather have changing
interests you seek from either friend or perceived foe, keep the line
of communication open even with a sworn enemy cos you never know if
he'll be in a position to help you in future

7.Have it in mind that everyone wants to find out how you're
doing,it's not like they care,they just want to be sure you're not
doing better than them.

8.Never spend money you've not yet earned,you could bite your fingers
with regrets later.

9.Never spend beyond your income,you'll only rack up debts for yourself.

10.Never borrow to impress women and people generally

11.If you don't like your current job or enjoy what you're doing,do
quit before frustration sets in or you'll be an unhappy person and
miss the very essence of life

12.Women will cluster around you when you've money to throw around but
be discerning about the one who has your best interests at heart when
you do decide to settle down with one of them

13.People are not really who you think they are,choose ur friends wisely.

14.Have it at the back of ur mind that all human beings have selfish
motives,though in varying proportions,but when the chips are down,and
they have only one choice to make between their interest and
yours,they wil go for theirs.

15.Never rely on a woman,she will leave you at the slightest hint of
trouble,though they may have their varying degrees to which they can
weather challenges with a man,but a typical woman will leave you
eventually when she sees there's no hope in your case and you'd
realize this only the hard way.

16.Don't let a woman know everything about you,keep certain things
away from her cos if she knows your full capabilities,she might take
you for granted.

17.Following from above,downplay your challenges in front of a
woman,rather give her hope cos that's more soothing to her

18.Know the reasons why you entered into a relationship so you don't
get it twisted along the way

19.Don't marry out of pity,be sure you've your eyes wide open cos as
they say love is blind but be reminded marriage cures that blindness

20.What you can't tolerate in courtship,please don't think you can
change in marriage

21.It's better to be respected than to be loved cos the one you
respect you'll love eventually,any one can tell you they love you cos
talk is cheap,but actions speak louder

22.When you're screwed,even those you least expected will screw you over

23.Deal with a problem fast,don't allow it linger too long cos it
becomes complicated with time

24.Do not embark on something in a haste when you're not fully ready
for the consequences though there could be exceptions where you need
to work with faith

25.Don't ignore your parent's advice or admonition however ridiculous
it may sound cos there could be some wisdom in what they are saying

26.Seek your parent's blessings in your endeavors

27.Don't leave your folks home until you're financially and
emotionally ready to do so,to avoid having to run to them for help
every time you are broke,except home becomes extremely uncomfortable
but then,do make sure you can at least support urself before you leave

28.Learn from your mistakes cos a mistake repeated amounts to foolishness

29.Always have a back up plan

30.People will always disappoint you when you need them the most so
don't have high expectations of them so that when they do eventually
fail you(which usually is the case anyways),you'll not be too hurt

31.Know when to end a relationship that's not working and don't settle for less

32.Don't allow adversity let you lose ur self pride or worth

33.Don't let a woman control you financially for too long cos she'd
insult you eventually no matter how well intentioned her gesture to
help you out financially may seem at the beginning. Take her help or
whatever she's offering you if you need it badly but make haste to
gain back control as quickly as possible,and pay her back to the last
cent,she'd respect you more for it

34.Never let women and money come between you and a good friend,learn
to let go of these if that friendship means a lot to you

35.Know when to be blunt and when to be diplomatic cos ur rights might
be trampled upon if you're perceived too gentle and you might also
make unnecessary enemies for yourself if you're considered too blunt

36.Don't be afraid to ask for favors cos even the scriptures says,"ask
and you shall be given"

37.Try to be godly in your dealings as much as possible,treat people
fairly as much as you can

38.Don't be too quick to judge people except you've been in their
shoes and know what it feels like, besides you can't tell if you'd act
better or worse if you were in a similar circumstance

39.Never consider anoda lazy cos he hasn't achieved as much as you
have, rather consider yourself lucky, not better

40.Don't be too nice to a lady,she'd take you for granted
eventually,trust me on this guys,show her your mean side too in order
to keep her in check

41.Don't always let ur ego get in the way of things,do what you ve to
do,even if it involves lowering yourself,the end they say always
justifies the means

42.Always be in control of ur emotions as much as possible cos it
could save you from unnecessary troubles or situations

43.When you suffer setbacks,it's ok to cry at times if it will make
you feel better and release you from the bottled up pain,but don't
dwell on it or attract a pity party to urself

44.Don't displease yourself to please others cos humans can't be pleased

45.Don't keep a lady who wants out of a relationship cos she'll
eventually cheat on you if you force her to continue against her wish

46.Never neglect family cos wen the chips are down,outsiders will only
listen and sympathize,but your family rallies round and covers ur
nakedness and shame.

47.Don't over indulge in sex,women and alcohol(it's not easy
though,but remember the consequences)

48.If you don't have peace while with a particular lady,no matter how
desirable her other attributes might be,pls quit while you can before
you make a mistake that can't be easily undone

49.A woman that can't submit to your authority in the least of things
is not worth keeping

50.It's not every lady you come across that is worth dating,know what
you want and go for it,and never start a relationship for selfish
reasons other than love,it will pack up eventually. Also,never date
your friend's ex even if he gives you consent initially,she will only
cause a wedge between you two in the end. These are just a few of the
lessons I consider worth sharing and as my life keeps unfolding,I'll
learn many more